Thursday, April 16, 2009

My Own Personal Warhammer

I am not a gamer - in fact, those of you who know me and my situations, know that the online game "Warhammer" was a major source of stress and problems in my to clarify this has nothing to do with the addiction/game but its my own personal warfare of a more spiritual nature.

I got led today to a Joyce Myers book called "Battlefield of the Mind" praying that it will help me tame the thoughts of self-worthlessness (if that is a word) that have been plaguing me and waking me up in the middle of the night. I read the first chapter in the car this afternoon and I want to use this space - as public as it may be - to help me chronicle this journey to spiritual health and track my own progress.

So today I'm starting my own Warhammer of the mind. Putting on the armor of faith and waging war against the keeps that have been set up in my mind that harbor my self doubt, my fears, my past disappointments, my insecurities - basically all of the things that I used to unconsciously drive Chad away and are keeping me veiled in this depression. Instead of fighting spider monsters or seven legged creatures in a virtual realm...I have to fight against the demons in my spiritual life.

Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Tricky business indeed but I have faith. I have a rare weapon on my side.

2 Corinthians 3-5 For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient.

I never thought I'd be one for battle, but this is one I must win to be strong for my boys, for my business and friendships to thrive and to understand the meaning of the struggles that have been placed in my life. I only pray that my journey will help others discover where their true weaponry lies as well.

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