Thoughts/rant on this "Fifty Shades" thing

I admit, I was curious to see what all of the hype was about and, since I happened to have downloaded copies of the "Fifty Shades of Grey" series by E.L. James I thought I would give it a go.  I popped them into ibooks and dove in.

The first thing that struck me is that the writing wasn't great...it reminded me of something written for teens and I SERIOUSLY hope that was not the demographic they were going for with this novel.  The inner monologue of the main character was inane and I found myself skimming chapters full of gratuitous and completely unnecessary sex scenes. I honestly think I may have enjoyed the book better if there wasn't a love scene every four paragraphs.

For me, the most disturbing about this phenomenon is the Christian Grey obsession.  The man is a psychopath, a sadist, a control freak and, quite frankly, dangerous and should NOT be an ideal to which any young woman (or old woman as some of the followers of the novel have proven to be) should aspire.  Period.  We may have seen a softer side as the novels continued but I have felt compelled from halfway through the first book to issue a warning.

Ladies:

If you find a man, no matter how rich, handsome, sexy and powerful he is, if he stalks you all the way across the country when you tell him you need space that is NOT normal.  If he convinces you that the only way you can be together is to do things that you are not comfortable with it is NOT healthy.  If your boyfriend admits that he loves punishing you and hitting you you RUN away from that situation because you WILL get hurt, physically and emotionally.  If they are so controlling that he tells you what and when to eat, who you can and cannot see, and goes to the extreme of buying the company for which you work just to be able to have control, that is a sickness and you will lose yourself in the process of making him happy.

The "heroine" Anastasia continually talks herself out of common sense.  I'm all for exploring new experiences as long as you are in a loving and respectful relationship and have clear expectations.  What I am not cool with is the glorification of the "kinky fuckery" as the book calls it ad nauseum. This girl had protected her virginity despite other advancements from nice, normal men but her resolve melted at first sight of Christian and was gone in minutes instead of the weeks and months it takes to build a mutually trusting relationship.  It is not cool, not normal, and not healthy.  Ana doesn't even get a chance to breathe before being pressured and smothered by her boyfriend.  How is this even acceptable in our society?

Please, don't look for your own Christian Grey.  Most women who get into relationships such as this end up broken, hurt, and abused.  Shelters across the country are filled to brimming with women who fall in love, think that they need to sacrifice themselves and their morals to make a man happy and stay in the abuse because they are convinced that love is more about pleasing their husbands and boyfriends than creating a two way relationship.  Just remember, the story doesn't always end with the power of love triumphing over deep seeded mental problems.  Most of the time, the story ends badly.

Love
Kris

I have one book to go but I have to cleanse my palate with a book that doesn't make me cringe constantly first.

A Change for the Better

I think that I have always known that the way that I live my life was ultimately poisoning me.  I have smoked, drank, eaten poorly, watched too much TV and not moved my body enough at various points in my life.  Looking back, I can see that the times when I have been happiest have been the times when I have treated myself the best. So now here I am, facing demons again.

Being a road warrior is awesome - flexible scheduling, getting to meet new people in new places all the time.   But it has its drawbacks.  Like having to grab quick meals on the road...usually resorting in choices between Casey's pizza, McDonalds or Subway.  Some choices are better than others but all were slowly seeping into my system.  Making me feel fat, lethargic and lazy.  Behind the wheel is not the best way to have an exercise and activity filled lifestyle either.  So I know that I have to make a change.  One for real and one for good.

It all started with a documentary - something that I picked up just on a whim and from recommendations from friends and family.  Forks over Knives.  And while I am more skeptical than to buy into all of the claims of health and happiness it puts forward, it did sprout a seed that I had planted in my brain long ago.  Natural is better.  Not rocket science and so simple that it makes me feel dumb not to have caught on long ago.  So I did my research.  Everyone from Dr. Oz to the CDC and many stops in between and I made some decisions.

Chemicals are killing me.  Sugar, caffeine, Artificial sweeteners, nicotine, processed foods.  It was all making me tired and heavy.  Last year when I did the HCG program I felt amazing.  Truly great.  Even just eating 500 calories a day I felt great because I was eating good healthy foods, lean proteins, fresh vegetables and fruits.  Over the past year, however, I have slipped back into old habits, put on an appalling 30 pounds over the day I got married and my energy level has plummeted.  So no more chemicals.  Sounds easy right?  uh huh.  Easy until you go without your morning coffee, without your diet soda or sugar laden cereals or breakfast bars.  Easy until your kids beg you to go to McDonalds where even the french fries have sugar in them.  Easy until you realize you live in Newton and there is no whole foods markets within an hour radius of my house.

Not easy.  But hopefully worth it.  Today is day two - low dairy - vegetable base - organic.  I'm exhausted and my head hurts but I can feel the toxins leaving my body.  Without getting graphic, bathroom times have been much easier.  From the research I've done, this is normal, getting my body back to basics.  By next weekend I should be feeling better and then I get to add in moderate exercise.  Stay tuned for more updates!